my ashtray heart

 Photo from www.budiey.com

 Get your tickets here! 

The picture above pretty much sums it all up. Anyone's interested? I doubt so but I'm just doing this because I'm desperate for people to accompany me. I have a feeling it might be filled with many Malay guys, no, I'm not trying to be racist. Drop me a msg if you're interested. Judging from the ticket price, it's pretty reasonable and I'm actually very surprised that they decided to drop by Malaysia. Of all places!? I mean, oh come on, radio doesn't even play their songs. MTV does play their new stuff like Ashtray Heart. I'm not sure whether they've played their older hits before but is it me or the band isn't really famous in Malaysia? There's hardly any promotion except for the small little posters in Rock Corner.

Have not been a fan of them for long but the music that they make are pretty good, the lyrics especially can be quite provocative. Molko's quite an interesting person, same applies to the other band members. If you like androgynous looking guys with lots of eyeliner, this band is highly recommended. And also if you like provocative lyrics, like what I just mentioned, listen to them.  Curiosity is the driving force here, I really want to see how well they perform live. 

a hefty one

I just got home from Ipoh and I must admit that this Chinese New Year break was a very eventful one. It's not fully negative nor positive Negativity is balanced out by the lucrative business that unmarried people like me conduct. Even though some have migrated or passed on, this year's business is better. They're not as thrifty as I thought. Good karma for people like that. Even the hairstylist gave me an ang pao. Not to sound naive or whatsoever, it's merely fair to be surrounded by the bad and the good. Life's only balanced like that. More love, care and gratitude towards ones who are genuinely kind. As for those whose hearts who have been taken away (shit, I sound as if I've been playing too much Kingdom Hearts, forgive me, I'm listening to KH Piano Collections as I type this entry), I have no words for these people because I'm not completely perfect myself but at least not as terrible as some people can be.

Oh yes I was talking about good people. Although the staff from Cafe Breeze or Breeze Cafe, whatever the name is, I can't really recall, big thanks to them for helping out that night. Wouldn't be able to make home without their help. 

Like what I plurked just a few minutes ago, I'd like to emphasize again, certain things just can't be undone and once you've pushed your limit too far, that's it. That's bye bye. I won't hope someone dies but I hope one of this days, karma will still come back and bite you in the ass because seriously, you deserve it. I think she's already anaesthesized, which is a good thing.

air conditioner does wonders

Someone please remind me that Chinese New Year is already here because I just can't feel it. In spite I'll be getting a 2 days break coupled together with another extra 2 days because of my lovely Statistics lecturer, I'm not excited or happy about it. There's just no Chinese New Year spirit in me or perhaps there is one waiting to be awoken? Either way, I'm lacking enthusiasm. There must be something profoundly amiss with me these days. Is it the weather? Seriously, tell me why is it always incredulously hot when Chinese New Year comes? It's not even funny. There are days when it's so bloody hot that I'm about to strip naked and soak myself in a tub of ice, just like how those people in soap operas. Too bad for me, I do not have a tub and that immense supply of ice. To make things worse, there's mid terms right after Chinese New Year. First paper will be on Saturday and they haven't released the schedule for the exam yet. Well done, very efficient of you people. Now this makes it difficult for students to prioritize their subjects. As I'm typing this, IHMC isn't accessible. Oh wait, it is accessible but they haven't uploaded the schedule.

Just how nice it will be if I can spend Chinese New Year in dormancy. Do I sound a tad negative? Oh sorry, my mood shifts can be quite scary when the weather sucks. It affects the whole me. Let's just hope that my perspectives will change when I get back to Ipoh, receive a lot of money ang paos, and meet my friends. Speaking of ang paos, I think people are getting more parsimonious. Could that be actually the real reason I no longer look forward to Chinese New Year as much as I used to? 

Another thing that I cannot look forward to anymore-- bonding over joysticks. Before my secondary years when my cousins and I weren't that mature yet, we used to play wrestling or fighting games and Tony Hawk's on the PSX. Those were the days where we would go for endless matches of Tony Hawk's just to see who can get the higher score. And also the days where there was only one PC in my room. Each one of us would compromise, play a few rounds of CS with the bots while others wait patiently behind the current player. I still remember, before the existence of smooth graphics, we took turns playing old school games like Lost Vikings, Wolfenstein, Aladin and Prince of Persia. As an introvert, I am not really good at socializing with those who aren't around me for long aka my cousins who are from KL except for one that I've played a lot with since I was toddler. For others, there weren't many topics of interests but we could actually sit down and talk for long if there were gaming sessions. This is how technology or to be more precise, gaming consoles are capable of fostering relationships. 

 

 Photo from abandonia.com

 

 Photo from Piano Forte

Presently, these kind of events do not take place anymore. How unfortunate. Never mind that, I'm hoping for a great time when I get back to Ipoh. Although I dread going back to the house, cleaning it and sleeping in a dusty environment, I'm trying to be as optimistic as possible. Happy Chinese New Year people! 

By the time I get back from Ipoh, Utada's In the Flesh tour will be over. How ridiculously depressing for fans who couldn't make it. The venues weren't even beyond reach if I were an working person. London, NYC, Chicago. *inserts sad smiley* I pray that she'll tour again in a few years' time when I have the sufficient funds to travel overseas just too see her in person.

Photo from Utada.com

a tribute to the deceased j-rock rotation sites

If anyone were to look at me and guess what kind of music I listen to? The answer that they'll most likely give will be Chinese pop. Blame it on the I-AM-A-CHINESE  glued right on my face. That's beside the point. Today I'll be reminiscing about the existence of J-Music rotation sites or to be more precise, J-Rock rotation sites.

I remember how I stumbled upon these sites during Form 1 (2004). At that time I knew nothing about Visual Kei, X-Japan, or Luna Sea. All these were like aliens to me. If you do not know what the heck is rotation sites, it's a website whereby the webmaster/mistress will upload a couple of mp3 songs together with reviews, fangirling/fanboying comments, whole lot of unnecessary bitching and photos. These sites were sprouting like mushrooms until late 2007 if I'm not wrong, then most of the sites started to die. Why? And an hour ago while I was just googling J-rock rotation sites for fun, all results which came out are dead sites. Not on hiatus, they're literally dead, abandoned. People just do not have the motivation or enthusiasm to maintain such sites anymore. Why? I reckon it's because of how shitty the J-rock industry is getting, that might be wrong. I'd be jubilant if someone could name me some 2009 - 2010 J-rock tracks which really kick ass. And also, what's with most bands trying to sound like Dir en grey? It's so annoying to listen to Kyo wannabes. There's not much variety anymore these days.

Looking back, most J-rockers should really thank these sites for helping them to promote their music. It is because of these sites that their music is able to reach worldwide without any barriers. It is because of these sites that there are so many fugly VK cosplayers or J-rock wannabes hanging out in Sg. Wang. Okay, I didn't mean the last part but it is partly true.

If I were ever given the opportunity to meet the webmasters/mistresses of those J-rock rotation sites that I were faithful to, I'd thank apiece of them from the bottom of my heart because the music that they've shared have totally brought drastic changes to my life and shaped the person I am today.

Dir en grey - all the masochistic, sadistic, angry, melancholic tunes helped me to get through personal problems especially during form 3-4. Machiavellism kicked ass even though Kyo's engrish sounds so incredibly hilarious and stupid. China was where I listened to most of their music because back then MP3 players could only fit 128 mb. Songs like Filth, Mushi, and Zakuro bring back lots of memories. This band reminds me of Audrey, don't ask me why. HAHA.

 

L'Arc~en~Ciel - One of my all time loved bands.  Jojoushi, the first song I downloaded from the rotation sites helped me to stay awake during my revision for mid term. Not to mention how much this Ken's melodic solos have motivated me to pick up guitar. Was listening to their songs 24/7 during form 2. And I'm also proud to say that my first original CD is their album, SMILE. It's the one and only Japanese release album that I own. Others are all "for sale out of Japan", needless to say, all those suck ass. The booklets are so thin and the quality is prominently inferior to the Japanese release ones. Okay, besides that, why is that the current Hyde's voice sounds like an old man talking garbage? Too much smoking?

Gazette - I've always felt a strong bond or attachment between this band and I. This is most probably due to the fact that I started listening to their music before they reached their current status. They've grown so much and at the same time I've grown too. It feels like we're growing at the same rate, the feeling is inexplicable. They don't make spectacular music but there's just something that about their music which piques my interest, followed by addiction. Ruki's vocals are just normal, not even close to impressive. Aoi's and Uruha's guitar skills are no where to close to real guitar virtuosos. Reita's nose band annoys me and Kai, uh well, Kai's drums is good so no complaints. I can't remember whether Reila or Cockroach were the first songs that I listened to but who cares, both of these are on the same level of greatness. I sold my entire soul to them after listening to Cassis and the rest of the album, Nil.

There are of course other great songs that made me recall how much I enjoy stealing music from those MP3 rotation sites. It's quite a long list but now there's no more sites like these, it's kind of sad. Could someone explain to me why these sites have vanished? If J-rock is dying, perhaps people should start making RUSSIAN ROCK/METAL MP3 ROTATION SITEs. Frankly, I'd love that because I do not have an inkling where to get high quality russian rock songs.

of fats and pee

Just got home from Genting. That was pretty random, it never occurred to me that Michiko would wanna drive to Genting. It was so damn abrupt but I guess she likes to do stuff like that. She could've at least took the courtesy to tell me that we'll be going there then I wouldn't have wore shorts and flip flops.

Since she took the wrong direction, she had to ask the people at the Tol for a bit of guidance. Asked 3 girls in total and the first girl actually gave wrong directions; thus, it was confusing!  I was like, damn, hitherto we're just gonna end up driving all the way back to Ipoh. The last 2 girls were of better aid but still she had to  pay unnecessarily in order to u-turn, you get the idea. We took the old road, it felt as if it was taking centuries for us to reach there because both of us wanted to pee and we were famished. Lucky for her she has cigarettes. On the other hand, I had nothing except for hunger.

I think I nearly died in the car park, it was freezing cold and I was pale as fuck. I looked creepy in the mirror, I think that was mainly due to my hunger. Crystal eats to live, not lives to eat. Surveyed the area to see which shop will be great for dinner. Fast food outlets were obviously excluded from the list. In the end, dined at some Hainan restaurant. Was too hungry to look at the name. Something sheepish happened while we were waiting to be seated, I cut the queue because hunger took over my conscience, really. Took me awhile to realize that I actually cut the queue when Michiko gave me a whatthefuckareyoudoing look. For real, I didn't notice the sign saying "Wait to be seated".

 

Took her 5 minutes to handle the pepper. Speak of great skills.

 

Happily having my Traditional Mutton Stew. Apparently, I ate quite fast.

Took a stroll outside after dinner then came back to PJ. Talked a lot about past issues. In short,
had fun.

Dad asked me where I went and I lied, "One U". He responded with an eww face and said, "Boooorrrrinngggg". Have you seen people who actually enjoys bursting people's bubbles so much? Yup, I love being boring and I'd rather you scoff at me because you would've killed me if I told you the truth. He got pwned without knowing it and in a way, that's kind of hilarious. Hah!

what's the matter with you? blue eyes

 

Photo from U3MUSIC INC.

Just thought these autographed balls by Utada are pretty cool. No, I'm not fangirling. Please scrutinize the drawings on the balls. Bears voicing Gay rights. Apparently, her bear or otherwise known as Kuma is a gay bear who's only into male bears. Okay fine, maybe I was fangirling a bit after getting to know that one of my idols is so supportive of the LGBT community. Another reason why I love Utada Hikaru.

Time for something serious.

 

Okay, I know this shot ain't as epic as her singing but truth be told, I have better shots of her singing along to Akon's music. After contemplating, I decided not to post those beautiful shots because I'm a really good friend. Seriously, this girl knows practically each song on Akon's album. Scary and it's even scarier when there's abrupt screaming/cursing in the middle of the song. After yesterday's experience, I realized that most of my friends are pretty aggressive when it comes to driving. Hazardous, very. Ironically, I find them funny.

Monday's a holiday. About time for some repose--which reminds me I haven't started on the Dream Analysis. As much as I'd like to use Freud's theories, they just don't make sense. Oh, Freud, where art thou? There's so much I'd like to ask him in person but that's merely impossible.

Evangelion Afterthoughts

Years ago before I got into anime, I've always been curious about this particular character  (the chick with short blue hair ) that I saw everywhere in town. This ubiquitous character left me wondering about her importance. Why is her action figure available in every single anime shop? When I first started using the net during the 90-s, I can still recall how often images of this character or the name "Neon Genesis Evangelion" appear in my search results. It IS rather odd because I was actually searching about something else. It is inevitable, even most forumers would use characters from Evangelion as their avatars / signatures.

Fast forward to 2004. The advent of my newly found addiction. Finally I discovered the "mystery" behind the ever popular Evangelion. Since it's quite an old anime (released in 1995), I had no interests in watching it. It was till 2009 when I downloaded it. The whole file is 10 gb and I managed to download all 26 episodes + 3 movies in less than 24 hours, via torrent of course. Impressive. Then I realize, this series must have really really hardcore fans who are willing to seed the files at such rate. This speed is considered quite good for Malaysia's broadband. Well, I finally watched the whole series together with its movies. In fact, I just finished End of Evangelion about 30 minutes ago.

Never in my life have I cringed so much just from watching an anime. I'm serious, Never. I was so ludicrously overwhelmed by what this anime has to offer. At first glance it looks like some stupid mech anime, which I don't really dig but I still ended up watching it just to find out for myself why the strong fanbase? After watching it, no doubt it is truly an anime which has successfully revolutionized the anime industry. I can now see where most animes draw their ideas from. It's so obvious. Since the animes that I've watched are those made after 2000, I have to say that after I watched Evangelion, other animes that I've previously watched are all child's play. I kid you not. It utterly changed my perspectives.

WHY? It's deep and it's serious and it's dark and I can go on and on about why this anime is such a masterpiece. The characters are all designed well, physically and personality wise. The show does not just touch the characters on the surface, there's a lot of character development/exploration going on. The main thing, its storyline causes viewers to keep analyzing and think think think. It's not a stupid child cartoon where the line between good and bad is clearly drawn. Difficulty in comprehending its ending is what virtually every single viewer faced out there. Despite its dino-age release date, there are still active forums on the net where users discuss the ending. Oh, and I was saying, it's not some crappy mech anime. In fact, it's not really mech. There's a whole lot more to the anime. In addition to all the greatness, there's a great deal of psychological factors involved which might be disturbing. The voice acting enhances the overall experience and impact of the anime. There were many scenes that made me cringed like crazy because of the VA.

I don't wanna sound like I'm fangirling because I'm not but  I'm merely stating the fact that it's brilliant. Evangelion is a bona fide anime and I think every single person who loves anime should watch it, that is if you haven't. Or maybe if you think anime is childish, watch Evangelion, it's an enigma. I believe most people out there only watch stuff like Naruto or Bleach and other newer animes but seriously, watch Evangelion. NGE is vehement on so many levels.