Mockery? More like fuckery.

I don't hate exams. There are papers that I look forward to and there was even once I arrived a day earlier. Just imagine the sheer excitement and anticipation! Exams give you the chance to prove that you're good at something and introspectively, there's something in you which goes like, oh, I've actually learned this much throughout the semester! It's feelings like these which made you sense growth. And you also don't feel ripped off because education these days is all about money making. At least there's something worthwhile after letting them leech so much. That said, there are papers which are just atrocious. They're so abominable to the extent I don't even consider them exam papers anymore.

What's the most common route to a good grade? Cram as much as you can from the textbook and purge it out in the exam hall. It's like students expected to operate their brains like external hard disks. There's even something worse. Tertiary education has really opened my eyes to the absurdities of the current exam formats.

Imagine questions like these :

1. Which person below wasn't discussed in class when we covered chapter 2?

2. Which person's picture was placed next to the monkey in my slides?

3. Which movie was played to illustrate -insert any theory you want- during my first class?

4. In the movie played during the introductory class, what's the role of the main character? A pirate? A slave?

IMPORTANT NOTE : ANSWERS ARE NOT RELATED TO CONCEPTS AND ANSWERS CAN'T BE FOUND ON GOOGLE OR ANY BOOKS RELEVANT TO THE SUBJECT.

Evidently, the lecturer wants to test your memory more than your understanding of the subject. Are you serious? Is that the whole reason behind exams? Because in dictionaries, exams is defined as a set of questions or exercises evaluating skill or knowledge. I don't see how these questions serve to test any of our skills or knowledge pertaining to the subject itself.

If I could answer all the questions above, does that I mean my comprehension of this subject is 100%? Does that I mean I could stand in front of everyone and proudly declare that I'm an expert at this? N-o. Fuck, no. These questions are totally irrelevant and they serve as what I would call filler questions or more like questions to punish those who didn't make it to class, at the same time rewarding those who were present. Plain injustice. What about students who couldn't make it to your class because they had other things to attend to but in the end they still attempted to apprehend the subject itself?

There's no evaluation of skills or knowledge going on here. These questions are completely memory-based; hence, for students who really took the effort to read the textbooks and understand the core concepts, too bad for you. What irks me most is futility of trying to grasp the essence of the subject. If I knew these kind of questions were coming, would I even bother so much about the textbook? Once again, n-o.

I just think such wtf-questions are ludicrous, even more when there's more than one out of 75 questions. Imagine how much marks are lost and the paper isn't an exam anymore. It's a memory test conceived by lecturers who thinks it's amusing. (Or maybe just too lazy to construct better questions to test the students?) Such mockery! Either way, somebody please direct me to the customer service of Dept. of Psychology because I earnestly plan to write a letter of complaint.

how musicians' hiatus can be detrimental to fans

If you like an artist, how do you gauge it? What draws the line between an ordinary and a die-hard? For me, it's simple. This doesn't necessarily have to be a musician, it can be anything. My obsessions/fascinations draw out the 'little kid' in me who's more excited, happier and speaks illogically; quite the opposite compared to the usual indifferent me. (Oh btw my mom calls me a tree, no idea how's that related but apparently it has something to do with the branches being blown by the wind). 

So last week during one of the classes, a guy suddenly walked in with this black shirt which looks like this.

Photo isn't very clear because it's a direct scan from somewhere; I've forgotten where. Not like that matters (my apologies to the one who scanned it). Anyways, it's an official Utada shirt which was released prior to her hiatus. There's a drawing of 'kuma' or in English-- bear. Fans will know well how Kuma is representative of Utada. (There's a song dedicated to her bear-- which I really dislike, she takes photographs of her bear, the bear gets to travel with her on her tours, she bathes her bear and the list goes on). 

The point is this, the guy was wearing this shirt and I got so excited; hence, the processing in my mind went haywire. Apparently, I said 'Oh My God' very loudly for a few times because I didn't think that someone in Malaysia would be wearing it. (IIRC, the procedures are pretty tedious, not all credit cards work and so forth; on a side not, it's fucking unfair how Japanese people always get the coolest things). So I kept probing that guy for more information which really led to a negative outcome. I think I kinda scared him because he doesn't look like one who's very fond of talking. And I thought Utada fans should love each other and stop being so mean to each other. Anyways, the guy was even using Metal Gear Solid file. So, I'm envious beyond words.

That's that. Prevalently, Crystal won't go around screaming her head off and grinning stupidly unless there's something which really aroused her emotionally.

Back to the issue of being a fan. Most fans can't tolerate it when others speak ill of their their idols. Haters gonna hate so why bother much? But I think what makes a fan a true fan is this, willing to accept your idols' shortcomings And if it's okay with you, it's even better when you're fine with making fun of them like this.

Sex-ed up titles of Utada's songs.
Seriously, fans can get really bored when their favorite musicians go on hiatus.

Heart Station - Virgin Station

Can You Keep a Secret? - Can You Keep it Hard?

Simple & Clean - Sex & Cum

Tokyo Nights - Tokyo Nights (I Hope I Get Raped)

Show Me Love(Not a Dream) - Show Me Dick(Not a Dildo)

Be My Last - Be My Fuck/Come At Last

Colors - Condoms

Wait and See - Wait and Pee

Fight the Blue - Fight the Juice

Kremlin Dusk - Kremlin Fuck

First Love - First Dick

Boku wo Kuma - Boku wo Cuma

Keep Tryin' - Keep Fuckin'

Uso Mitai Na I Love You - Uso Mitai Na I Fuck You

Gentle Beast Interlude - Gentle Breast Interlude

Kiss and Cry - Kiss and Cum

Goodbye Happiness - Goodbye Virginity

Flavor of Life - Flavor of Cum

Stay Gold - Stay Hard

You Make Me Want to Be a Man - You Make Me Want to Fuck a Man

Beautiful World - Beautiful Whore

Addicted to You - Addicted to Blow

Devil Inside - Dick Inside

valentine's dinner with mom

Despite my love for most pastas, I don't really fancy Spaghetti much and that's also why I don't order Bolognese Spaghetti whenever I dine out, even more so when it's not a Italian restaurant because they'll use lots of ketchup together with pre-made sauces for this dish. Major disaster. Before I started adhering to this rule, I always felt ripped off whenever this happens.

Since then, I made it a point to only eat Bolognese Spaghetti prepared by mom. Not pure Bolognese, there's a bit of fusion to it. Nevertheless, it tastes way better than most restaurants out there.

Photos courtesy of mom's.

Take note of the amount of veggies, prawns, mushrooms and garnishing which are usually kept to the minimum when I eat out. They usually give you really little of these and to compensate, lots and lots of noodles-- which really irks me. But my mom's the exact opposite. That's why I love it when she cooks for me. To be frank, that's also why I sulk or put on faces when she changes her plan to eat out during the last minute. Very nasty thing to do but it can't be helped.

Speaking of food, my tastes has changed once again. I'm beginning think Lou Sang/Yee Sang as pretty acceptable. Used to detest it a lot when I was a kid. Would only take the keropok and pamelo bits. This year I've been indulging in 2 servings whenever possible though I must say it's more enjoyable if we do take away because grated carrot will be added in. Chinese New Year ends this week so most probably there will be one last session because my mom really fancies it.

Sites better than your typical social networking

It's a tad late to talk about new year resolutions but if a survey was done, I believe the results would reveal that a high percentage of us aim to get more things done, which also means less procrastination. Whether the task is something small or big is not the issue here. And since we're all so dysfunctional without the internet & we 'face it more than we face our family', it would be great if we could fully use the internet to our advantage.

Because my laptop is practically on 24/7 with access to the internet connection whenever I'm at home, I find TeuxDeux to be extremely useful. I've only started to use this a week ago and it has helped me to get more shit done than before. At least minor tasks won't slip off my head (provided if you remember to jot them down in the first place). Take a look.

 
 Very clean interface, completely no-frills without unnecessary features. Extremely user-friendly and has the right editing options. You just have to input what you need to do for the day and as you go along, cross out the tasks you've done. Tasks can also be dragged to another day. You know yourself best, if you're gonna keep dragging them to the next column (or day), procrastination is taking place so of course, you gotta have adequate discipline and self-control. Registration isn't time-consuming at all because they don't ask for unnecessary shit. Why not give TeuxDeux a try and see whether you can really get more things done, at the same time become a happier person?

Another site that I've recently started using again is LastFm. Was inactive for a few years because ever since I switched from the ancient chunky desktop to this laptop, I got too damn lazy to install a plugin which tracks what you listen to. Because my hibernation period was too damn long, I decided to delete my 'listening history' during secondary school and started from scratch all over again a few days back.

So what's the point of this site? If you're someone who listens to music as much as I drink coffee--uhh. Bad example. More like how much I think about coffee but I'm sure you get what I mean. And also if you're one who likes discovering new artists and music, this site works wonders! From what you've been listening, they recommend similar artists. That way, you get to broaden and diversify your listening experience.

Each artist also has a page which means you get to see top tracks and albums. This feature is what I love most because say I'm new to this particular band and I'm interested to listen to more of their songs, I get to see which tracks are the better ones (or more like which are the overrated ones). Besides, like every other place on the internet, you get to see people fighting over the smallest things and it's pretty entertaining because some fans really go all out to defend their opinions or favourite artists.

If you have other sites which you find to be incredibly helpful in any areas, please recommend them, I'd be glad to try them out.

Some People Will Never Get It

Have you tried discussing equality with an opposite sex? (Question directed towards females). 

So I was talking to a guy today and I'm not gonna state who because if you know me well enough, most probably you could take a wild guess and get it correct. Shouldn't be too difficult because I'm not surrounded by a huge number of male friends/relatives. Let's cut to the chase.

Initially we were discussing divorce rates and the figures have increased tremendously these years and so I said if heterosexuals aren't taking their marriages so seriously, why give gay people such a hard time when they sincerely want to get married with each other? Look at how they fight for their marriage to be legalized, all the trouble they have to go through. And then he made an irrelevant point : if the battle for gay marriage to be legalized is a success then there would be nothing for them to look forward to anymore, they won't be special anymore. 

Worst. Most. Insensitive. Statement. Made. Ever.

Yours truly was incredulous when I heard that. So he thinks that gay people view themselves as being incredibly superior? If homosexuals were so special, there wouldn't be fights for better rights in the workforce and other aspects. And so I started to explain to this Mr. that not only marriage rights are at stake here. 

Then he said, it's the same for females. I truly concur. Yes, we're all aware that we still live in a pretty much male dominant society and most are still misogynistic. I'm not saying that all males on Earth are MCPs. That would be a mistake because I do have male friends who are not and they're such lovely people.

Since he brought up the topic on females so I began to expressed my views on how the females deserves more rights. I was appalled when he said that it's 'LIKE THAT' in all societies and 'it has always been like that', 'there's nothing you can do about it'. Does Feminist Movement ring a bell? If it weren't for that, how badly will women still be oppressed today? Think about it. Think of how much progress we've made. Think of the liberty we have compared to those days. That said, females are still viewed as sub par when it comes to many areas; hence, action still needs to be taken. We need to hold firm. 

The most obnoxious point of the whole thing was this, as I was trying to present and further elaborate my points, he constantly interrupted me with words jumbled up together like a little kid (Think 'asdasdsasdasa'). Perhaps to prevent me from talking. That act alone made him seem childish and he ought to act better for his age, especially when engaging discussions like this one.

And also, he kept saying that what happens next when rights for homosexuals and women is achieved? To quote directly, "what's next? what's next? there will be nothing for them to look forward to anymore".  Nothing for uh what? If you don't think that statement is as mindless as those made by simpletons, I don't know what is.

Do I look like a prophet? Or someone who can predict the future by looking into the crystal ball? If everyone thinks like you, no improvements will be made to society. He's missing the point, it's not what's next that matters. 

Society is always in a state of flux. There's never the best of the best but shouldn't we be focusing on what can be achieved for the time being? 

On a side note, I'm well aware that I've abandoned this blog for quite some time but I was really ticked off just now so I had to find an outlet for 'release'; thus, this very sudden update. So yeah, please excuse my emotional rants.

gay or not gay...?

Ever since I read Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman, I've been on a lookout for Murakami's works. Back in 2009, it was still difficult to find his books but nowadays it's way better. I should learn how to be content but sometimes it's quite a challenge when you're too fussy or too adamant. Just a few days ago I downloaded all his e-books. I do support e-books but simply because I adore his works so much, once again I went out to hunt for the physical genuine ones today (the last Murakami book I bought was about 3 weeks ago-- speak of being broke).

Saddened by the fact that most bookshops do not have a brand new copy of Kafka on the Shore, I picked up Sputnik Sweetheart. Bloody thin but I think After Dark is thinner. Despite its so called lack of content, I still bought it because the synopsis was convincing enough and it was also out of ire that they do not have a clean copy of Kafka. Yes, I'm about to get to the core of my post.

If you're easily offended by homosexuality, do not continue reading. I won't be responsible if you feel like throwing up or killing me with a gigantic crucifix after you finish reading the post (I highly doubt you'll feel like doing so, there's nothing graphic about homosexuals down there). 

"..Surprised that she might after all be a lesbian, Sumire spends hours on the phone talking to her best friend K about big questions in life..."

the word 'lesbian'. The L word to be exact (no pun intended) reminded me to update my blog.  Ponder this for a moment. Do you refer to your lesbian friends as LESBIANS? Or do you actually label them gay?

Now I've been observing people for quite some time. I can't help but notice how straight people like to label their lesbian friends as lesbians instead of gay friends. I'm not sure of other countries but in Malaysia, it is extremely rare for straight beings to say things such as "*inserts a girl's name* is gay". Prevalently, you'll hear things from straight people such as "*inserts girl's name* is a lesbian". It's like a rule that most straight beings adhere to, use the G word for males, the L word for females.

The funny thing here is (perhaps you won't find it funny but seriously, I find this REALLY funny), most lesbians like to label themselves gay or simply put, they use the word 'gay' in lieu of 'lesbian' in day to day conversations and whatnot. Of course, this is only applicable to english speaking people. I've a friend who said that she preferred being labeled 'gay' instead of a 'lesbian'. Hah.

In the LGBT community, statements like, "You're sooo gay" and "She's soooo gay" are really common but if things like that come out from your mouth when you're talking to a someone who hasn't been exposed much to LGBT related content or perhaps they themselves do not have lesbian or bisexual friends, they might give you odd looks. Now they're not to be blamed. 

With that said, I can't help suspecting that a girl/lady/woman is gay/bisexual when she uses the word 'gay' (as in to refer to all homosexuals including lesbians) because like I said, it's only common for gay girls to use that word. 

This post of mine might seem to contain stains of sophistry here and there but hey, do think about it. I have close to ZERO straight friends who use the word 'gay' when they speak of their lesbian friends. Close to zero means I do have a few straight friends who use the word 'gay' on girls. Thing is, her close friends belong to the LGBT community so she must have been exposed to terms like these. This is even more noticeable among adults. My parents/relatives/cousins who are way older than me have NEVER EVER used the word 'gay' to label female homosexuals.

Are you starting to think that my post is absurd? Believe me, this is not a joke post. I'm not babbling trash here. Your thoughts will be highly appreciated. :)

awkward moments in the living room

Certain games are only meant for playing when you're alone or when nobody's in the same room with you because video games these days are not as innocent / bubbly as they were decades ago. Sex and nudity are no longer unorthodox elements in a game.

Last night I was getting through the final hours of Heavy Rain, which include an interactive sex scene and performing striptease. When I say interactive, it means you're required to input a sequence of commands as prompted for the game to progress. Okay I was exaggerating, it wasn't entirely a interactive sex scene, more of an interactive make out scene which eventually led to sex. Unfortunately players no longer have control over the character during the sex scene.

Oh boy, it was really awkward, thanks to the presence of my mom in the living room. I like having the volume really high when I enjoy my games; thus, the characters were moaning. Thanks to her headphones, she was too busy listening to her pop tunes and hardly paid attention to what I was doing. Perfect timing because my dad went out to buy his cigarettes so no one was watching but still, there was tension in the air. 

If you think that's not much or it doesn't qualify as nudity, check this one out folks. Too bad for you if you're sensitive to boobs. Oh anyways, it's just pixels. ;) It's the shower scene where players get a close view of Madison's boobs. This scene took place last week and fortunately my dad was in his computer room.

My point is, it's just uncomfortable when you're enjoying a game but at the same time you're wishing that others do not pay any attention to you just for the sake of reducing awkwardness. I might sound stupid here because I'm already 18, it's perfectly fine for me to be playing games with sexual content but it just feels weird doing so in the living room with my parents there.

I'm gonna do a few more playthroughs to get the all the trophies. In other words, these awkward moments are inevitable.

A simple conclusion can be drawn from this, getting my own lcd/plasma is essential for full gaming comfort and enjoyment. 

Lest you have no idea what the hell is Heavy Rain, please don't make ridiculous judgments, no it's not a stupid sex hentai game. I don't dig those stuff. Those games are catered to horny people who love looking at japanese/anime looking chicks with huge breasts cry in pain when the male character inserts his very-- I think I better not go in detail. 

Photos from gamesradar.com.

Screenshots from youtube.